Soz chownee's and chownettes theres no news yet but soon there will be.  Keep Checkin biatch!

In the meantime here's some old school news for you to read up on.  Safe!

Travellers Rest (3rd time lucky)

Well well well geezers, what can i say but what a great bangin selection of top chowns. All i can say is that the boys Fish & Fuzz have pulled off another bangin night of chowns. Twister was on the cards again but this time it was a brutal 5-1 all female game. Louise was quoted in saying "Does Eve ALWAYS carry trout in her knickers?" Another follow up quote to that by Stan was..."I didnt think Becky Coleman could fit in her pants."
Fish and Fuzz were glad to have been asked to DJ at another classic party at the Travellers Rest. Thanks Louise and Laura and the Chown lives on.
 

PHAT CHOWN IN IBIZA!

Yes its true chap chap that Fish and Fuzz 'av been spotted in the clubs in ibiza town. Wot a load of top chownage they saw. The two top DJ's were spotted in Cream and on San Antonio beach.

Bigup Bigup, Its Phat Chown Three!

Yes thats riht pop pickers, the Chownage has returned. We just knew you were beggin for more chowns, games and fish and fuzz. Well if you didnt know who to thank, its louise and Laura, those two op bosses. Its their party and they can chown if they want to. Safe. Any requests, go to [email protected] using chown in the subject line. We will have a look at ya chown, have a listen, and have a breakdown. peace out boss.

Fish-slice on "batty" romours: "I choose pink everytime"

Today, the main Chief Geezer DJ Fish-Slice has hit out at rumours suggesting that he is a batty boy. This is what he had to say:

"well fuck you you wankers. Ive never taken it up the ass, never will. Ive never given it up the ass, never will. Unless i get liz hurley up the duff again, coz im not poking one of my kids in the eye with my twelve inch dong d-dong dong dong again. Thats just nasty. I mean if u were in liz hurleys muff, having a great time swimming around and stuff, slowly bieng fed an ample amount of food to grow from a foetus to a real baby, developing every day, and everything is hunky dory, then this mamoth cock jabs u in the eye, your not going to be best pleased are ya? cmon, everyone must have thought about this before, right?"

When fish slice was questioned about his unproffesional approach to MC Fuzz, he remarked:

"do i fuck take it up the backside from me main man fuzz. ive never been attracted to him in any way. Hes a Top MC. Not a clue what hes like in bed, but ive been told he is great. Thats a tenner you owe me fuzzyboy."

F & F say "i do (batty)"

Rumours are rife todal all over the internet that Fish and Fuzz have actually got MARRIED. to EACH OTHER. This could bring serious consequences because everyone knows that anyone to do with bangin safe dance music is a homophobe. So... fish-slice and fuzz take it up the marmite motorway? these rumours are far from confirmed, but they are definately damaging the Dynamic Duo's credibility.

Bigup Bigup we call it PHAT CHOWN!

Yo yo Bosses, Dark. Be out of question, of doubt, tis nothing truer, tis no jest, PHAT CHOWN is kicking off its second phase of superstardom. safe. the first phase involved just three top bangin yo slammin chowns. Now the new wave of safeness is almost upon us. Yes, you guessed it. New chowns are on the brew. Rumour has it that the best of the bunch is named "your dad likes batty" but this is unconfirmed. More news as we get it chownfans....

World DJ Day

Yes this week its radio 1's world DJ day, and F & F could well be laying down some phat mixes with Pete Tong or the Stanton Warriors. Apparently, ive heard from F & F that they are heading to the Balerics for a hot pumpin session of hard house and trance meetings.
Also this week F & F have made news by batterin that twat Sid Owen (Ricky off Eastenders) and Patsy Palmer (Bianca From Eastenders). You want to know more...? Go to, A Day in the life of an MC. Or Check Check Wontz the Fishslice Diaries.

Mr T Jacket Stolen?

Ive heard reports from Fuzz that his famous Mr T jacket has been stolen. The jacket went missing Friday after skool. Could this be a terrible mix up leading to the Mr T jacket being lost. We can only hope that this is not the case. It's a good job that F & F are good DJ's cuz if they weren't they would be finished.

Yo Yo people hows it going Son?

Now that the inspectors are in, everythinks is cool at the mo. So far there is no news on any up and coming gigs, so i thought that we would set up our own top bangin gig. We dont know where and we dont know when but if you want another gig you just say the word and Fish & Fuzz will try and get it going on.
Just last night i had a phone call from my good friend Dave Pearce.
"Whens the next gig Fuzz man? The word on the street is that there might not be one for a long while, please keep the chowns coming and the gigs flowin'. Know what i mean my man?"

So you know how it is and ill try and sort something out for all these cool dudes that are looking for another bangin night of top chowns, cheesy chowns and of course Twister.

The Smell of Fish or Caught by the Fuzz?

Listen here bloke. Me and Fish wanna know what sort of shit you wanna hear at the next gig so drop us a line and we'll get the people at Battee Cru Recordz workin on the chowns. In fishes big box of records we have an extensive collection but this is the chance for you to be part of the team and tell us what you want. When Fish and Fuzz were on the Cream front line i met Phats and Small. Remember them? Well anyway the DJ aka Phats or how i liked to call him PHATTY told me. "There is always on fing to remember bruvva and that to give the ladz a gud nite so let them tell yaz wot they wanna hear, you know wot i mean guys?"
So you tell me and Fish wot you wanna hear. Right? Safe geezer, top bloke, nice one bruvva.

Battee Cru Versus So Solid Cru

Londis Car Park, 12.00am Sunday Morning. Yes its true all 10+ members of so solid cru were at war with Fish and Fuzz. It all started when Fish and Fuzz did a rendition of 21 seconds called 69 positions. This sparked a 12 man battle royal. Which ended in tears. But only for so solid cru. Yes its true, you heard it here first, Fishslice and Fuzz turned so solid cru into so soiled cru. Fishslice was reported to say..."Come an have a go if you think you 'ard enuff!" While MC Fuzz was quoted saying "Stick your cru up your arse!"

Do YOU want Fish-Slice and Fuzz at YOUR party?

Of Course you do! what a stupid question to ask all you niggers and hoes. But did you know that is is possible? Due to a possible new alliance between Phat Chown and DJ Big Boppa, the complete DJ package can be hired at a low price. Yes you could hold your own party dedicated to Fish-Slice and Fuzz themselves, with them as Guests of Honour! or it could be your little brothers birthday party. whatever.

"Just Check Out The Chown!"

NEWS JUST IN: Normal dave is an Afgan!

Yes thats right folks. F & F bring you the real truth about average Dave. Hes an Afgan. Apparently, something bad happened in america on september the 11th, and orthadox Dave is apparently behind it. He was uncovered by Fish-Slice and Fuzz, who were suspicious because he was so normal. here is Dave in a red Fezzie:

Travellers 2 review

Back In Action!
Yes you guessed it, the top DJs Fishslice and Fuzz are back on the scene. Despite possible set backs and a huge legal battle with DJ big Bopa, the nite almost didnt go ahead. The fact was, F & F had the DJ deal with FSH 88, but their gear was out of action. DJ Big Boppa then assumed that coz he had gear, the deal was his. Wrong DJ Big Boppa! as if Fishslice and Fuzz would let the crowd down with an average DJ! After the entire hassle the night went ahead and Fish and Fuzz went down a storm! DJ Big Boppa said after the event "well i was sceptical when i saw twister in the background, but it was great! i got a good view of Jakes arse!". Top DJ Norman Cook aka fatboy Slim said "these boys have talent so I wanna big it up large with them at Ibiza! LARGE! Thankyou Mr Fatboy for those words of wisdom. And thanks to Norman Cook too.

Lookout for more top gigs at the travellers and keep your eyes pealed for gossip.

Travellers take 2?

This is another chance for you, yes you, the people to witness phat chown live. No more cheese this time its for real. Fish and Fuzz may now become magistrate Stu and Jury Jones in honour of the great Judge Jules Biggit Up. The tickets for this once in a lifetime opportunity for you to watch Phat Chown for a solid 4 hours.
The tickets are ?0. Be there or be gay. The fun starts at 7 on Sunday 10th of February. I just wanna say a big, big Biggit up ribby dibby dibby to me main man Fish as its his 18th Birthday on Monday the 11th of February feel free to buy that lad a pint.
 

Yo bangin Large!

These are the words you would?heard if Phat Chown went ahead at the big Bopa?ove pad. But it didn? Due to dodgy wiring up of speaker?hat chown?ight was ended! What a shame I hear you cry, me and me main man Fish slice was proper gutted.
As Fish & Fuzz know what the people want we produced two amplifiers and microphone and the party was back in business.
As I know you ALL want phat chown back, we?decided to have a true biggit up massive gig. The next gig will be fun filled with some bangin games and lots of chownage. You?even see Dave & Tom with their fezzies. Stay cool and big up to the boys Fish & Fuzz.
 

Phat Chown Phights Bak.

MC Phil Fiddick also a crossdresser?

Surely this is it for the One Hit Wonder?

Chown in the Brown?

ok, Whats going on geezers? This just fuels the rumours that F & F are botters two. 2 Bangin safe DJ blokes in Fish-Slice and Fuzz, wearing dresses and acting like kiddie fiddlers? Yip Yip, Yo bangin, its true. and we have Photographic evidence. Here ya go boss.

and no bambi, they are not doctored.

And then, below, the Super-Large MC Fuzz shows what a bad effect largin it can have on your football skills. Or maybe he was wank before, we just dont know.

And below, the safe Fish-Slice shows off his skills by sending the ball wide right, completely duping his marker, Frank Furgeler, who is nine years old. he said "well, its an absolute honour to play foorball against my DJing heroes, but its extra special coz they have dresses on. I had a dream like this once, Woooonts! do you see what i did there?"

Right Said Fred or MC Phil Fiddicks outcoming.

MC Phil Fiddick can also be known as the fat/fit one Jake Oakley. At an 18th b'day party, DJ Fishslice MC Fuzz and MC Phil Fiddick all sang You're my mate to Mark Simmonds for his birthday. Is this a regular slot for MC PHIL FIDDICK or not. We predict that the shrimpy shit was a one hit wonder unlike F & F. Nice one Bruvva.

Big Phat Chownage Gossip

A little birdie told me that Fishlice and Fuzz are planning another gig at the Travellers Club within the next month. Keep your eyes peeled....
Word on the street is that FSH 88 is planning the next party, and people who went to the last one get in for 2 squid. All we need to know now is what dudes are going?

Battee Cru on the rebound?

After the solid cru mix up, Fish & Fuzz were lookin for some more action. This action came in the form of the irish wasters Westlife. The fat one Shane started off by smashing a cue round Fuzz's face. Round comes Fishslice with a pint glass to Shanes head and the fat bastards night was over. After battering so solid cru and now Westlife where will F & F go now. We predict that Oxide and Neutrino are next and the world can only hope that this is true.

Smashy and Nicey Kick Off

Who would've guessed it. Smashy and Nicey those Dick Jockey's startin a ruck with the boys F & F. What a stroke of luck that Fish & Fuzz were ready. The only sounds to be heard was the shatter of bones and blood spraying on the carpet.
"I'll shine my boots with yer face!"Fuzz Said while booting FCUK out of Nicey's face.
"Take that you goofy shitbag!"shouted Fish and wrapped Smashy headphones round his face.
With So solid Cru, Westlife, Oxide and Neutrino and now Smashy and Nicey battered, we think F & F should go into pro-wrestling. What a tag-team! Nice one bloke.
Fish & Fuzz were quoted saying
"Hows yer mum"